Holywood

Mini-Movie: Song of Bernadette

Jennifer Jones (as Bernadette Soubirous, kneeling on studio grass in front of a rear projection of a Kentucky cave)
“This hurts. Can I get a pillow here?”

Asst. Director (shouting) “Somebody! A pillow for Jennifer.”

Jennifer; “How old is this person supposed to be?”

Henry King (Director): “Holy Mary? I don’t know. 30, 40. Doesn’t really matter, she’s mostly behind the smoke.”

Jennifer: “No, you idiot, the peasant girl I’m supposed to be playing. And by the way, who’s playing the Mother of God?”

King: “Frieda Inescourt and Edna May Oliver both read for the part. Perlman is sitting on it. (Leafing rapidly through the script) No directions here Anybody out there know the kid’s age?”

AD (shouting): “Is there a Catholic on the set? How old is the peasant?”

Voice #1: “12”

Voice #2: “16”

King: “This isn’t Gone With the Wind; let’s split the difference. 14 . Makeup!”

AD (shouting): Makeup!”

King: “.. lose Jennifer’s lipstick and the eyeliner. And costume, can we do something about her tits? I don’t want the Legion of Decency on our case. Perlman will have my head.”

Costume: “That’s props.”

AD (shouting) “Props!”

Props: “We’ll need an hour.”

King: “I’m not asking you to build the Freeway; just find a new bra.”

Props: “You do your job, boss man; we’ll do ours.”

AD (shouting): “Ok, kids. Take an hour; back in the contractual 55. Kill the smoke and somebody help Jennifer up please.”

Jennifer (groaning): “Fuck!”

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